St Charles Stream of Consciousness

      Hello, this is a holiday weekend.  A centuries  old celebration of spring, and rebirth, and family, is being  explained and honored in countless milleu, containing countless myths.  To me this holiday is about all of those things, and none of them. The themes are there, and they're important. The archetypes are positive, and the mood is good.  The other explanations about what I am thinking are somewhat personal, and should be kept that way.


     I do think that life is just a serious of relationship attention.  I must work on the relationships I have, including the one with myself.   I seem to spend the endless current of seconds, either working on improving, or eroding, the relationships I have in my life. I can be self destructive, so I can ruin these just as easily as I can cultivate them.

     I had the intention of cultivating them, or at least with one person in particular, as I drove away from the interstate and followed the St Charles River along Burnt Mill Road, in Pueblo, CO.  It was sunset, and early spring, after a few moist days.  A place that was at once, peaceful and timeless.  The vistas were: to the right; a long, misty, horizon with peaks going back and back and back into the warm, ocean-like light that is the sunset's edge. The other directions contained green valleys, craggy river bluffs, and some snow capped mountains that had the appearance of grey piles of cake with frosting dripping down the sides.

The valleys contained a flock of deer that were at least 50 in number, there was a flock of turkeys, and I spotted a cow, and a newborn calf, relaxing after their introduction to one another,  along a secluded cliff wall.  Mother Cow stared me down, and I unrolled my car window and assured her I meant no harm to herself, or her newborn.   I must have had that guilty look on my face, 'cause she got up, and stood between me and her calf, never straying in her gaze at my pupils for even an instant.  I drove on. 


I try to call the person I want to speak with. They are very busy.  I decide to talk to them anyway, and take pictures of what I am seeing.  They are still alive so I can share this with them.  It will become the next best thing to them actually being there.


I harbor no illusory notion that life will always contain happiness. I also know the only constant thing is change.  I am sad now, and I will not stay that way. I also am looking at one of the most beautiful spots on earth, at this moment, this day.  It could be a helluva lot worse, I mean, it has been.  Much love to the world.  Jim  Peace OUT!